gellert grindelwald

july 11th, 1956

1956年7月11日

mister supreme mugwump sir, and of course i heard about that particularmendation—

您好至高無上的尊敬的偉大的長官先生，我當然已聽說了這項特別的榮譽——

the rest of our lives, you say forever, you say are we wedded by owl, then am i bound to your sanctimonious pronouncements as permanently as the lichen on my walls the orange spot is bing particularly magnificent. there is green like scales, green like little leaves. they grow unimaginably slowly. my whole life has be glacial. it's been more than ten years, hasn't it more than ten years in one single little room. i thought i'd go mad. maybe i have.

你是說，我們的余生？你是說，永遠？那么，我們在貓頭鷹的翅膀上結婚了是嗎？我已經被你那假惺惺的宣言永久地束縛了，就像附著在我那墻壁上那些頑固的苔蘚是嗎？那些橙色的苔蘚變得越來越壯觀，綠色的則細碎如鱗片，又如綠葉斑駁。它們的生長難以置信的緩慢，而我的整個生命都已冰封。已經過去十年了，不是嗎？十多年來都待在同一個小房間裏。我覺得我會瘋掉的。也許我已經瘋了。

headmaster. bollocks. schweinhund. look at you. look at you, the great albus dumbledore, international mugwump of the grand posh scheisse-swarm, hunching over your new year's ale because you fucked a german boy decades ago and can never love again or some nonsense—and you still blame me for her death, don't you, albus it was an ident, you drunken idiot, an ident, it wasn't me, i swear, i only fled in fear—

校長……去他媽的……你這雜種。看看你自己，看看你自己吧，偉大的阿不思·鄧布利多，國際著名的高級魔法聯合會會長，在除夕之夜徹夜悶頭飲酒，就因為幾十年前被一個德國小子/操/了，說著此后再也沒法愛上其他人等等之類的廢話——而你還在為她的死怪我，是不是，阿不思？那是一場意外，你這個酗酒的傻瓜，那是一場意外，不是我，我發誓，我只是因為害怕才走的——

and look at me. gellert grindelwald. there was a time when every child in wizarding europe cheered for my name or shrunk from it. there was a time when i cast curses that stripped the leaves from every tree for thirty feet with the mere wind of their passing—there was a time when i was on the verge of establishing, truly establishing, a new world order, a bright new future, and i would have done it for you and me—and here i am, rotting, lonely enough to care what some poncy old british git thinks of me. you must have enjoyed the thought, yes, that i might be haunted by the screams of my victims does that fit your idea of how things work, that i lie awake at night tossing and turning from the ghosts of my past and do you, albus little ariana held you back from hunting me down for years, didn't she

再來看看我——蓋勒特·格林德沃。曾經，每個歐洲的巫師家庭的孩子都會為我的名字而歡呼或者發抖。我的一個咒語丟在風中就可將樹葉從所有30英尺多高的樹上剝離——那時，我幾乎就要建立，真正地建立一個新的世界秩序，一個光明的未來，而我做的這些是為了你和我——現在呢，我在這裏慢慢地腐爛，孤獨寂寞到會去在意一個娘娘腔的英國老飯桶是怎么想我的。你一定為這種念頭得意吧，是啊，我說不定會被那些麻瓜們的尖叫糾纏不休呢。這在你看來是不是理所當然的，我整晚都輾轉反側無法入眠，就是因為被過去的幽靈纏繞著，不是嗎？而你呢，阿不思？小阿利安娜也把你阻止我的念頭拖了許多年，不是嗎？

news. news, dumbledore news from this oubliette you left me in four years without a letter—the charms on my watch are holding perfectly well, thank you, i know how long it's been—and then only to brag that you're headmaster [a dark, indecipherable blotch of ink]

近況，我的近況，鄧布利多？在你把我丟入這個密牢之后的近況？四年沒有一封信——我手表上的魔法還未失效，謝謝你，我知道已經過去了多久——之后，你就僅僅是想吹噓你當了校長？【一大團無法辨認的黑色墨漬】

it's sweet, really, your bewilderment. you can't understand how i could possibly be angry at you, can you because you mean well, because you approach me in friendship, i couldn't really be upset, now could i just sulking again, right

真可愛，真的，你困惑的樣子真可愛。你不明白我為什么這么生氣，是嗎？因為你是帶著善意的，因為你是作為朋友而接近我的，我不可能真的生氣的，不是嗎？你覺得我現在只是又生悶氣了，對嗎？

gertrude is a crazy bitch. what lesson are you trying to teach me what game of yours am i playing in now we already finished one, the one where you spend every day with me, give me your body and your mind, and then blame me for an ident and betray me and leave me to do our work alone and then the next, where you set me upon my path, share my plans, hunt the hallows with me, give me the very words by which i ed my philosophy, and then, at your leisure, when you've watched enough, wander over from england in the name of truth and justice and bat me out of the sky

格特魯德是個發瘋的婊子。你又在試圖給我灌輸什么？現在你又在拿我和你玩什么愚蠢的游戲？我們不是已經結束了那個游戲了嗎，那個我們整天黏在一起，將你的身心全部交付于我，然后又因為一場意外責怪我，背叛我，拋下我獨自一人去完成我們的事業的游戲？然后接下來是什么？你跟隨我的腳步，按照我的計劃，同我一起去尋找圣器，許下 “為了更偉大的利益” 那句對我的信仰舉足輕重的話，然后，等你無聊了，看膩了，在名為真理和正義的英格蘭土地上漫步夠了，就一巴掌把我從天空上拍下來？

you ed me, dumbledore. you ed me and formed me and let me loose in the world. and i think your little brother would agree that you have a habit of ignoring ufortable truths.

你成就了我，鄧布利多。你成就了我，塑造了我，然后，放任我在這世上。我想你那個弟弟會同意我的觀點的，你習慣于忽視掉令人難堪的真相。

but enough about you. let's talk about me, your haunted and broken pet dark lord, your misbegotten experiment, who used to spin sweet spells round your body and smile as you begged him to bugger you and who, i wonder, knows that is that one of those things you must ever hide poor albus.

談你談得夠多的了，現在談談我吧，你那飽受驚嚇，心碎一地的寵物，黑魔王，你非法的實驗品，他總是用甜蜜的咒語織就讓你深陷其中的網，在你求他/干/你的時候向你露出微笑？還有誰呢，告訴我，還有誰知道這些？這就是你不得不隱藏的事情嗎？可憐的阿不思。

yes, we go around in circles. here i am back to mocking you until i can barely breathe for anger.

是的，我們就是在兜圈子。現在我又反過來嘲笑你了，直到我的怒火讓我感到無法呼吸。

i have a new pen pal, professor dumbledore, aren't you proud never think that you're the only one i write to—god knows if you were, i would've bashed my head out on the wall years ago. and it's lovely, sometimes, to talk to somebody who doesn't disapprove of everything one is, a fellow dark wizard, ambitious with abandon. british boy, very clever, a little stiff, silly made-up name—owled me out of the blue a few years ago looking to talk shop, as you'd say. great mind, but no sense of humor. he seemed rather startled when i mentioned that i knew you.

我有了一個新筆友，鄧布利多教授，你感到開心嘛？永遠都別以為我只給你一個人寫信——梅林啊，如果真的是那樣，我幾年前就該撞墻了。這感覺挺不錯的，有時可以和一個不會像某個處處和你反著來的家伙聊聊，比如一個同樣野心勃勃的黑巫師。一個英國男孩，非常聰明，有點固執，用著一個愚蠢的假名——他在幾年前出乎意料的給我寫信，想聊點我的老本行，就像你經常說的那種老本行。他腦子挺聰明，但沒有一點幽默感。當我向他提到我認識

你的時候，他好像還嚇了一大跳。

i told him that you were a user and a hypocrite, and to stay well away from you. of course, he was already frightened of you. you might want to keep an eye out for him though. he could be a dangerous lad. and how could you possibly handle a dark lord who isn't your lapdog

我告訴他，你是一個常常利用別人的偽君子，最好離你遠一點。當然，他早就被你嚇壞了。不過，你可能要留意一下他。他可是一個危險的小子。你怎么可能掌控得了一個黑魔王呢，他可不是你的小跟班。

be well uncertain of your decency, albus dumbledore. and gertrude is a crazy bitch.

享受你那無法安寧的良心吧，阿不思·鄧布利多。又，格特魯德真的是個發瘋的婊子。