of the snapshots he saw earlier. which ones belong with tony? who is the one that was alone in the snow? who should be with their damn kids instead of here?

steve can feel a headache brewing; a dull ache in his temples from exhaustion and thinking too much. he looks over at stephanie and seven one last time, and he can＊t help but think back to the last vision he saw; the steve rogers leaning across a bed with tangled sheets to kiss a smirking tony stark, smiling against that laughing mouth. it feels strange and alien, but a small desperate part of him is acknowledging how easy and right it looked, just like how he and tony always are together but taken up a level-

could he ever kiss tony like that?

no, the small desperate voice in the back of his head says, but he＊s not convinced by it. what if the way to avoid things going wrong is by being with tony? christ, shield had said that seven had made the smart move by marrying tony, what if that＊s what needs to happen in his universe?

no, he tells himself a second time. just, no. making sure he and tony don＊t end up on opposite sides of a war does not involve getting into a relationship with the man. it meansmunication and trust, and yeah, those are things needed in a relationship but also in a friendship as well.

unbidden, the image of a version of them kissing against the metal wall springs to mind. fuck, there were so many other people in those visions 每 bucky and peggy and those other women 每 so why is he fixating on tony?

because he＊s your best friend, even when he＊s not, he admits to himself as turns away and leaves the room; shield is trying to catch his eye and he really doesn＊t want to talk to anyone right now. because he was there when you didn＊t-quite-die. because bucky and peggy and those other people aren＊t a part of your life right now. tony is.

he climbs the stairs, slips back into the room where sj is still flat out asleep. he carefully clambers onto the bed next to his feet, leaning back against the wall and staring out of the window at the fading light. long shadows stretch across the room, dark and soothing. he breathes out slowly, tipping his head back against the wall and glancing sideways at sj＊s sleeping form.

※would you have been a captain and fallen in love with tony stark, huh?§ he asks, voice low. he shakes his head at his own ridiculousness, shutting his eyes and exhaling heavily again. ※guess we＊ll never know.§

※iron man! over here, just a minute-§

”can you tell us who is in charge of cap's treatment? why is the serum not healing him?”

※tony stark! tony, where have you been? howe you're back today?§

※what do you think about the people who say the avengers can't handle the newer threats we're seeing?§

※is captain rogers still alive?§

※over here, just a quick question!§

tony knew his plan of going back to the tower was a poor one at best. now he＊s well and truly convinced it＊s the worst idea he＊s ever had. the paperwork and thousands of messages and hundreds of items on his ever-growing to-do list are one thing; the reporters that are camped outside the tower 每 despite several public order notices that forbid them from doing exactly that 每 are something else entirely. clint is at his side, trying to shove through the crowd without hurting anyone. the strained consideration won＊t last; tony can tell that he＊s at the limits of his patience, but fuck it. so is he.

god, he never thought he＊d crave the silence and stillness of steve＊s hospital room. which he really needs to stop thinking of as steve＊s room, because that means he＊s starting to feel like steve belongs there-

※we understand that the captain is dead-!§

※he is not dead.§

the vicious words are out before tony can remind himself that he＊s not meant to say anything. the crowd surges, the noise swells, a hundred more questions thrown his way in a torrent.

※get in the damn car,§ clint snaps at him, trying to step around to the passenger side, but finding his path blocked. ※jesus, will you lot fuck off.§

※we just want to-§

※just a quick statement?§

※iron man, what are you going to do without captain america?§

tony sees red. he lashes out and knocks the closest camera to his face to the floor.

※i am not going to do anything without captain america, you got that?§ tony snarls, kicking the camera at his feet away even as the reporter stoops down to snatch it back up again, cursing violently at him and threatening to sue. ※he is going to be fine, and you know why? because there is no-one else who is going to be leading this team, and the universe knows it. there is no-one else i want leading this team, there is no-one else i want beside me, anywhere, at any fucking time. now get the fuck out of my way so i can get back to him.§

there＊s close to uproar at his words, more shouting and questions and he＊s had enough, he wants them out of his way, and fuck, why did he open his mouth because now he＊s let slip they want more, they always want more-

suddenly there＊s a flurry of movement next to him; there＊s the rough sounds of a scuffle, a cry of pain and then there＊s a reporter with a bloody nose on his ass next to the car and clint is squaring up to the remainder, arms apart in a clear e at me,＊ gesture. the reporters aren＊t taking up the challenge, and instead are hastily backing away.